Friday, December 21, 2012

"Get that dirt off your shoulders"

Get that dirt off your shoulder

Listening to Jay Z this morning inspired me to write this article.

"Get that dirt off your shoulder". My interpretation of this saying is to get rid of what, who, ideals and beliefs that aren't working for you in your life right now. Now, meaning the present moment as you know it.
You should give yourself a period of solitude each and every day just to be still. Be still and listen for that quiet still voice. It comes when your mind is clear and not cluttered with thoughts and desires. If you sit in silence and thoughts do start coming; just revert back to your breath, concentrate on your breath not your thoughts.

When your mind starts to become clear, truths are revealed. Not all at once so be patient.  Survey your life, where it's going, what do you want to accomplish and what do you need to improve on. What does it take for me to evolve into the being God called me to be?
Is there a situation or person you may need to remove from your life and walk away from?  Do you have a harmful habit that needs to be removed?  This will be difficult but it requires one simple thing, telling the TRUTH to you. As simple as that.

"Get that dirt off your shoulder"; everything you no longer want to hold on to is "dirt" not in a nasty sense but in a sense that it isn't working for me.  We all have things that we need to improve on. We all have to do some “house” cleaning.  We all have God given gifts, we all have purpose.  Getting still will bring this to light. Getting still will propel you to take action. Whatever that action maybe. Figure out what that "dirt" maybe and get rid of it now.

When you know better you owe it to yourself do better.
Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase. (Martin Luther King Jr.)
If I have inspired just one person with this article today, I have done my job. Have a blessed prosperous new year!

Chante D. Graham
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Friday, June 22, 2012

Blood Sweat & Tears

This post is called blood sweat and tears because today I am happy and proud to call myself a mother. God does nothing without reason and sometimes we have our own ideas about what we should be doing but God has his master plan.  An old Yiddish proverb "Man plans God Laughs"!
For anyone that has ever been through a transition can relate to me if they haven't maybe they can been inspired. When you reach a certain level of maturity which has nothing to do with age but life experience, you begin to connect the dots looking backwards (Steve Jobs). Looking forward you don't know why certain situations happens, why specific people come and go from your life. Every person good, bad or indifferent serves a purpose in your life and has not been placed there by accident. Certain pain, joys, lessons what do they all mean? As I reconnect the dots on my own life what I have been through, I have often questioned God as I believe we all have. It was my blood, sweat and tears that has built me into the woman I am today. I am in transition, transition is a when you are able to take your life lessons, wisdom and purpose and move with them in unison to the next phase of your life. It's spiritual alignment, knowing your purpose and letting go.  Letting go and letting God lead the path he has laid for you.  My only son is making his first transition to manhood, I am so proud of him because he has internalized our family and moral values which we have instilled in him. Our family untraditional, but he still "gets it" and wants his own family and wife one day. It truly takes a village and my village has covered, protected and sheltered us.  My needs have always been provided for me to do the things that I had to do to raise my son in a protected loving, spiritual, environment. Of course we all make mistakes and no parent is perfect but as long as you do the best you can with what you have you have done your job. Parenting is a lifelong contract and it's one I would not have traded in for all of the money in the world.

Today I am just happy, happy with life, happy with me and knowing who I am finally. What I want and embracing my womanhood.  Not being afraid anymore to say what I feel and feel what I say. Finally taking care of number one and learning what it means to honor myself. You cannot honor God without first honoring yourself.  I have so many more dots and life experiences to connect but so far what I have learned has been life altering.  So in closing connect the dots of your own life and don't be afraid to have faith in a higher order because in that you will definitely find your joy, passion and purpose! Life is not always about the pain its about the happiness too! Blood, Sweat and Tears!

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Would you still say yes?

Would you still say yes?
Embrace who and what you are for 2012 and beyond!

Over the weekend I was privileged to attend Iyanla Vanzant's Lift off 2012 speaking event.  As I touch on some key aspects one has rang in my head the qyestion "would you still say yes"?  I didn't understand it at first and I had to let it marinate.  As you reflect on your life and the year that has passed would you still say yes? For every tear you cried and obstacle you overcame would you go through it again?  There was such an abundance of great speakers and pertinent information I wish everyone could have heard it.  Some of the words are not my own but I want to touch on what I heard that chilly night of December 30th, 2011 as we prepared for the coming of a new year 2012. At some point your life begins to shift and you start to change. You're thinking differently, but you welcome that change. 
How do you explain your tipping point?  The point of consciousness where things that didn't make sense start to make sense. At some point in life we have to grow up and take responsibility for our actions.  Your tipping point can be when everything falls apart and then comes together.  This tied in so well with all that I have been meditating on regarding change.  It seems like every question and concern was answered in this seminar. There was a message for me that prompted me to take a trip from New York City to Maryland and it was worth every word.  We are all spiritual beings that have a calling.  We have to take down our limitations and barriers and be a co-creator with our creator.  Everything we want is within not outside.  When you look for happiness outside of yourself you will never experience happiness.  You have to feel and believe in your vision and know the outcome you seek is going to manifest. Follow the law of detachment.  The law of detachment works simultaneously with the law of attraction!  Do not become attached to the results but put your visions into the universe and watch your creator bring them to fruition.  You have to believe in what your calling is.  Each one of us has a unique gift.  Its up to you to find that gift and be able to use it to benefit mankind.  What we resist persists. That voice you hear listen to it.  Call on your ancestors they are there waiting to help you. See your celebration!  Get a couple of like minds that can see what you can see and champion your idea. It's called The Law of Few! New ideas can become an epidemic and you have to make that simple choice "TO DO"!  Let your tipping point be your boiling point to get it together! Tell the truth about where you are in your life.  Stop pretending or wearing masks for people.  Let 2012 be the year of action and service!

Would you still say yes?

Ask yourself if everything you went through made you into the person you are today?  Speaking for myself I live with no regrets! I would go through everything that I went through again because it made me into the person I am today.  Every struggle is for a purpose. The parents you have are the parents that you chose. Would you still choose those same parents? Grow up in the same conditions?  If you suffered abuse physical, mental or verbal what would you trade that in?  Would you trade in relationships that hurt you? A man or woman that hurt you?  Remember we all have the power of choice.  Don't blame others take responsibility for your actions whether they caused pain or joy! For 2012 stand up and claim your purpose. Never struggle against "What is".    We get what we picture and what we think about most of the time. So turn those negative thoughts into positive ones. I hear a lot of women saying there are no good men out here and how they can't find a mate. Well guess what if you think it, so shall it be.  If you think there are no good men out you will only attract no good men.  If you think there aren't any mates out there then you will never find one! So start shifting your thoughts and your consciousness.  Also for those with children get them in this mindset.  Ask yourself would you still say yes?

Friday, December 23, 2011

Who is Chante Graham? As I reflect on my "other self" my year in review.......

This year has been a tumultuous one for me.  I have thus become changed forever as I live in my new reality.  Its funny the little things we take for granted like breathing, basic bodily functions, and having good health.  The human body is one that is amazing yet remains a mystery.  All that the physicians think they know about it they really don't.  Its unexplainable how a person's heart can stop three times yet they come back.  It's unexplainable how you can be up walking and talking one day and expired the next.  I have true meaning of here today and gone tomorrow.  My relationships, personal and friendships have changed. My family has changed. My child has changed.  My life has changed.  My vision has changed.  My goals have changed. Growth comes when you realize what works for you vs. what doesn't work for you.  Change comes when you recognize your "other self".  She lies dormant and when you least expect it your life is shattered into a million little pieces.  Thus your other self emerges.  When I heard this term used I didn't understand it.  When I discovered my creative abilities and what hid dormant in my life for 34 years I didn't know where it came from.  I didn't understand how I could pour years of pain and abuse onto one piece of paper. My other self birthed my poetry! As I wrote it was an unconscious spirit that led my pen. It was as if God started feeding me the words out of nowhere. I knew I was in pain but I didn't understand the words.  They had meaning to me, they had meaning to those that wronged me. They had meaning.  I wrote and I wrote until my fingers hurt.  I couldn't stop the tears as they poured down and the ink bled.  My heart bled as I wrote.  Thirty-four years of every emotion imaginable. I was left depleted and my womb was wounded.  I needed to be put back together again like the straw man in the Wiz. As I wrote I healed.

Reflecting on the birth of my prince was at a time when I was spiritually at my high.  Something about the age of 25! You think you know it all you think you have lived but you haven't. There is so much to learn do and be.  You aren't untouchable! My son came in a time when I was aligned with the holy spirit and I was 25.  But I still didn't know who I was? I knew I was someones woman, someones child, someones friend, someones emotional whipping girl but I didn't know who I was or what I wanted?  I thought I had knowledge of self but it was the knowledge of my "other self" that led me to the waters I drink from now.

There comes a time in every woman's life when she must she must face her other self.  She must know who she is what she represents and what gifts she brings to the world.  There is a time to stop loving everyone and love yourself.  There is a time to spiritually connect with your creator and know you are just a physical vessel used by your spiritual parents to do your assigned work here.  You must understand what you struggle with is what keeps your heart beating! It gives your life meaning to be better at whatever you are doing.  It gave me the strength to keep moving when I wanted to stop living. There is no pain that the Creator gives you that you cannot handle.  Things happen exactly as they are supposed to happen in life at their assigned time. Whether good or not so good.  They are the experiences that are teachers.  We have to learn the lesson in each relationship, each heartache and each happy moment. There is always a lesson.

In the last two years I have lost the matriarch of my family my grandmother, the patriarch of my family my father, and my brother in law that was my brother.  My grandmother taught me independence, my father taught me love, my brother taught me patience. My mom is still alive and she taught me forgiveness.  These are all necessary teachings in life.

I have seen the human body deteriorate to nothing through sickness.  Watching a loved one die is one of the most devastating things in life.  You have no control and in that moment you see who is really in control of all things.  The Creator is in control of us all and there is absolutely nothing we can do about it.  What I realize is that my loved ones are now in a new reality, a new place as I am. They are living their spiritual lives that live on long far after everyone here has passed.  Their work was complete.  If you have lost someone you love you have to grieve them. The process and the time it takes no one can tell you.  No one can tell you when to stop or enough is enough.  No one can tell you to let them go. Take your time to grieve cry those tears and cleanse your soul. Talk to your loved ones and let them live in your heart until your day comes. I read a great book this year "Peace from Broken Pieces" by Iyanla Vanzant.  She reflects on her life and loss of her daughter.  It was a book that led me to think a little differently. There comes a time in your life when things do fall apart. You just have to have the strength to put them back together again.

I have also learned to ask for what I want.  No one can read your mind.  In relationships tell your partner what you like what you want.  Tell them what you don't like.  Be forthcoming with what pleases you.  Don't be ashamed of wanting to be pleasured or satisfied.  It is your body and only you know what you like.  Know when a relationship has run its course.  Know that you cannot change a person and you have to accept them with no preconceived notions. That is true love.  You can love someone with all your being and know that they are not  good for you. You can also realize who is good for you and the meaning they bring into your life.  The law of attraction is real and you only draw to you what you are.  Desperation, anger and loneliness only bring you more of the same.  As your parents accept you unconditionally that is the type of love you have to have for your partner or you will never be satisfied.  True love is unconditional love. People say love is pain, but someone once told me love isn't supposed to hurt. You can't measure love by how hurt you are. Recognize the good that people bring into your life and be grateful for the blessings that you have.

As I started this story saying my year has been tumultuous. It has also been filled with many blessings.  Knowing a family that I haven't known for all of my life I now know and have a relationship with.  I have made new friends and reconnected with old ones.  I know a real friend is someone that is there for you when you are at your worst.  A real partner is there for you with no questions they are just there.  I have taken my writing to new levels and continue to use all of my creativity that was birthed out of my "other self" to inspire all that I come across.  I am still a work in progress. I have breath,  I have my mind, my heart isn't hardened , I have life and love in my heart.  I have an uncontrollable passion to do the work that I am assigned to do.  Sometimes the object of the journey is not the end but the journey itself.

This is me and I hope you have taken a few gems from my story. Also check my website to get some great poetry and leave your feedback. My novels, plays, and movies are forthcoming! Thanks for taking time to read this!

Until next time I wish you peace, love, health, and abundance! Happy New Year!